Dear Family, Friends, and Diary,
This is another health and aging diary. What can I say? Diaries record what IS happening, not just the fun stuff. Some background: Marianne acquired a pacemaker a decade ago. Her cardiologist explained that the device would allow more aggressive beat regulation medication by providing a limit to how low her pulse could go. Since then, she has controlled atrial fibrillation by a combination of an ablation, a series of medications, a few "conversions" (the paddle thing), and the patience to just wait out many of the events.
All this was good enough, but the implant was now running out of battery power, so a replacement was in order. Kaiser-Fresno does not do heart implants and complications with the original operation made us leery of returning to their local partner hospital, so we looked for a Kaiser hospital that could install the new device. It turned out that Roseville, up by Sacramento, had staff and facilities available and that hospital had left a good impression in a recent elbow repair, so we became medical tourists.
To make a short story even shorter, on Wednesday the 11th, we checked into the hospital at 6:30 in the morning, Marianne was prepped an hour later, and her new gadget was sealed inside an hour after that. Following an hour of recovery time, she was wheeled down to the car and we said "Now what?"
Over a bakery breakfast we planned a day of aging research. It turns out that Roseville and neighboring Lincoln and Rocklin are something of an aging center, at least when it comes to an abundance of "retirement communities", a term that spans everything from 55+ housing, through care centers, up to skilled nursing care. We have resolved that the time to learn about such places is BEFORE a need requires us to land somewhere, so there was no time like now.
I'll describe our impression of the three "independent living" facilities we visited and add a note about a 55+ house option that popped up. Then, I will review for you and for us, the pluses and minuses of any change.
Our first visit was to Truewood, by Merrill. I had picked the place by random and made a tour appointment with Julie, the Sales Director. Within minutes, she, Marianne, and I all knew Truewood was not for us. We neither need nor want the all-meals-service nor the hotel-room-sized apartments.
Nonetheless, Julie was very helpful in giving us suggestions for options in the area. We learned about the levels available, from "55+ communities" (essentially just housing developments without kids), to "independent living" (serviced apartments plus meals) through "assisted living" (which add various forms of assistance.) Learning the progression of the aging industry is sobering, but an exercise that we need to do.
The next stop in our independent-living exploration was Ansel Park Senior Living. Stephanie, another Sales Director, gave us the rundown on their facility,which was essentially a plusher clone of Truewood. For a couple of thousand dollars more per month, residents get a nicer dining room (with presumably nicer food), a theater, a library, and larger apartments, with kitchens. For us, the larger, semi-detached "cottages" were a real attraction, although Stephanie said they had a waiting list.
The last facility stop was at The Villas at Stanford Ranch. Lori gave us a tour. About the same quality level as Ansel Park, and the same pricing. Interestingly, Marianne quickly rejected the place with a I-just-don't-like-it. Julie, back at Truewood, had coached us that our first impression should be listened to, so we would.
Along with serviced facilities, we also wanted to explore "55+ communities". These developments have hundreds of houses each, mostly occupant-owned, and senior-friendly additions such as golf courses, restaurants, health facilities, and strolling paths. We were unable to arrange any specific tours, so we made do with driving past several houses available for rent from a list provided by Gold Properties. The idea of shifting from home ownership to renting has attractions for me.
After all this, was there a bottom line?
First, it is not time for us to consider "independent living". It is neither our idea of living nor independent. But, maybe before the next pacemaker replacement.
Ignoring that, what might the positives of a change be?
- less responsibility. Home repairs would be someone else's problem. At some level, even cooking and cleaning become someone else's problem.
- less accident risk. All the facilities we visited and, I imagine, even the 55+ communities, are single-level, grab-bar-equipped, no stairs, residences.
- security. We could go on our travels with less worry about home security (and I doubt there would ever be bullet holes in our dining room walls.)
- predictable costs. Independent living rents include everything. They are not cheap, but they are largely fixed, unlike the expenses of living in an old house like ours.
- retirement communities generally come with organized opportunities for new friends.
- visitors can reach Roseville or almost anywhere else easier than they can Fresno.
- finally, we would remove parts of the estate settlement burdens that otherwise fall on our heirs.
And the negatives?
- A move. No question, a move will be a pain. Despite plenty of life experience with relocations, they are never stress-free, especially since the next one would include a house sale.
- Downsizing. This is a two-part negative. First, 904 E. Cambridge is about 2,400 square feet, plus a partial basement, a large garage, and a compact art studio We could not replace that much useful space . Chief among the losses would be Marianne's art studio, but I enjoy my office and many other spaces as well.
- Downsizing, part two. Stuff. We have a lifetime's worth of treasures, not the least of which are many European acquisitions including hand-made furniture and several antique pieces older than California, or even America. Hand-crafted rugs. Sets of dishes and glassware. Decorations galore, including dozens of art pieces, Marianne's and that of friends. If only we knew folks who would appreciate our "stuff". Volunteers?
- Friends and family. We will lose close connection to Fresno friends and family. Marianne has both family and more friends than I do, but everybody matters. In past moves, we promised to stay in touch and, in significant part, we have succeeded, but have traded sharing meals for sharing screens.
- The Peckinpah Home. We will lose our 90-year-old home with the famous-in-Hollywood name.
Not far from Roseville, friend Gayle recently reminded us of how quickly lives of our contemporaries can be flipped over. She slipped, fell, broke bones, and needed serious repair by the nearest Kaiser hospital. Her Facebook post was cheery, salted with smiley faces, but carried a sobering message to all of us as we become more vulnerable.
We're listening.
Stay tuned,
John and Marianne